Letting Go
by Silvertongued Dreams
Summary: My thoughts on what might have been going on through Loki's mind in the moments before he let go of Odin's staff and sank into the abysmal wormhole that would ultimately change his life—and the lives of all those around him—forever. Family/Drama/Tragedy; Rated K-plus. NOT SLASH. One-shot. COMPLETE. (Initially published 9/24/12). Note: Title may change in the future.


**(NOTE: **This story and AN was initially published on 9/24/12, and now, I've decided to re-upload it. Enjoy!)

**AN./** Hello everyone! Thank you for coming. I hope that you all enjoy this little ficlet! It has been a while since I've posted anything, so I hope you find this piece as emotive as I did!

**Note: **I know nothing of the Comic Book Loki, so please keep in mind that I am referring to the movie version of him only. If you came to gripe about Comic Book accuracy, there is a 'Thor' comic book section of this site, and if you did not like this, then please just go there to read. w w w . fan fiction comic/ Thor/ (Remove the spaces.) This is the _movie_ category, and if you don't like story, don't read it. Thank you. **:o)**

Please **R&R**, my lovelies! **:D **Nice reviews make my day.

God bless!

**~ Silvertongued Dreams**

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><p>'<em><strong>Letting Go.'<strong>_

"I could have done it, Father! For _you! _For… all of us."

His voice had been nothing more than a gentle, caressing whisper of the fell air, but his silver tongue could not possibly free him this time. Perhaps he had tried to do the right thing—perhaps he had tried to please his father, Odin, as he had so often tried to convince himself—but, perhaps, he really _had_ just been trying to prove himself to _himself_. Months before, Loki would have been working alongside Thor—_jealous_, perhaps, but not against him. Sometimes, the lost prince wondered whether he really knew himself at all.

The steely, yet loving, disappointed, and reproachful gaze of Odin finally drifted his way, and Loki could almost feel his heart stopping. "_No, Loki."_

No—that was not the response he had hoped for, or even expected! Oh, _gods_—what had he done? His whole world was now crashing around him, and for a brief moment, he looked at Thor once more. Whenever he had gotten himself into trouble, Thor had always been there—the soothing balm to every aching wound and the companion for every sorrow. Whether by blood or not, he _was_ his brother, even if he could never confess that to Thor. And, no matter how much he might hate him right now, it felt good to have one set of kind, friendly eyes staring into his own with such concern.

Loki's face went pale as Odin's words seeped in. He had failed to please him. He had _failed._ The lost prince was not used to this—while he was never the favored child, he had always been at least _acceptable_ in the All-Father's eyes, and it hurt now, dangling from the edge of the Bifrost, to see how much of a disappointment he really was. An unwanted child. A trickster. A liar. _A monster_. No longer the angel-faced god of Mischief, but the dissolute **and complex**god of Chaos and Mayhem.

Oh, how pale his face looked! Paler than the palest shade of frost: paler than a ghost's phantom dress. What pain was mixed with his anxiety! He was loved by no one, and a disappointment to all. What was left for him to live for? All he'd ever striven for had been taken away, and his heart: corrupted and broken, fragmented and seared with the deaths of countless Frost Giants—could never be given to anyone. There was no hope for love, no promise for happiness. His friends hated him, and he was now a villain in their eyes.

And perhaps he was. But, like all villains, he'd only ever thought he'd been doing what he had been doing for the 'greater good'.

He looked like no villain with his face—his _beautiful_ face—riddled with pain and grief. Surely, a villain could not feel? Not love, or disappointment, or anguish? His actions had been so dark, yet his face was so innocent. Those emerald eyes of his were so filled with pain. For _too long,_ he had been harboring this feeling of not belonging. Yes, that was it. Perhaps, it was time for him to let go.

A tear rolled down Loki's languid cheek as he looked up at Odin one last time, then to Thor.

"_Loki, no…."_ Thor's voice trembled as Loki's long and nimble fingers ever so slowly loosened their grip on the All-Father's staff, and he slipped away into the darkness of space and time—an eternity of wandering amongst the endless realms of the universe: doomed to live a life alone, as the path he had taken had so destined him to.

As the Jotun prince disappeared, swallowed up by the wormhole below, Thor took in a shuddering breath.

It was too much. _All_… too much to take in.

He had just lost his brother. _And_, he told himself over and over again, as if to convince himself that there was something he could have done to prevent Loki's unexpected suicidal actions: _if he'd only known how much we all loved him, he never would have let himself go._

* * *

><p><strong>*Sniff Sniff* My feels! Oh, well. It appears that I love torturing myselfmy favorite characters with dramatic scenes from this one—drawn from the epic and most emotional scene in the film **_**Thor.**_** I felt that this interpretive passage/character study-ish story was somewhat needed, as I think that in the film, Loki is often misunderstood. While not entirely 'good' at the beginning of the film, he was not evil, either. Sure, he tried to ruin Thor's big day, but that was out of jealousy—after all, he is 'the god of Mischief', which means trickery, which means troublemaker. He never intended for them to ever reach Jotunheim. He wanted to get Thor in trouble: he never wanted The Warriors Three or Thor to get harmed. He just wanted to show Odin that Thor was still irresponsible, and not ready to be king yet. In my opinion, it was only after Odin revealed to Loki his true parentage that he turned to the dark side: his normally mischievous actions amplified by bitterness and blind hate. In other words, I don't think that Loki is someone you can just hate once you see where he came from. You just have to feel somewhat sorry for him, and believe that he can turn around. **_**Someday**_**.**


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